Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Why should I be a jerk instead of a nice guy??

The debate of nice guys vs jerks is one of the oldest of relationships and seduction issues. The essence of being a "nice guy" however is widely misunderstood. It is believed, that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic etc is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, he impolite, the rough guy who always gets to shag the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand... and waiting... and waiting...:)

It doesn't however mean, that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define, what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while for the "nice guys" hiding their sexuality is part of their agenda of being friendly, polite and and courtious towards women. Big mistake:)

9 comments:

  1. ii don't entirely agree w|. yu.. on my behalf. cause ii would love a dude like that; unfortunately my bf is not tha all the time romantic; but he will be when he sees ii need it .& ii appreciate it. jerks don't fly in my boOk; not at all. which is probably why tha guy ii'm w|. is my 1st .& only bf [being that ii had his child .& we're getting married soOn) ii've had nothing but jerks approach me; never gave em a 2nd thought once ii became privy to their motive. nice blog tho; just thought ii pay my 2 cents lol. byeeee.

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  2. Yeh i entirely agree with you too,because in my book good guys do finish last.However,i was refering to the guys that dont want to finish last,only hoping to get sum ass at the end of the week. you cant win a girl over by being nice all the time.........sometimes you gotta get a little obnoxious, to bring more attention to yourself. JERK + OBNOXIOUS = ATTENTION, and girls love i guy that gets attention.

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  3. I don't necessarily agree. Although it's a common misconception that nice guys finish last it's really insecure and less confident men who do. I like me a guy who knows what he wants, when he wants it, and isn't scared to go after it but let him disrespect me and he will see a fist in his mouth real quick.

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  4. I deff. agree with you. No one wants a push over as a boyfriend. Girls want someone that can take control but at the same time have all the other qualities of a nice guy. We want the best of both worlds. But as far as your reply i agree, if its just on a sexual tip the push-over 9/10 isn't going to end up with what he hoped for. & attention is key. Girls want whats wanted.

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  5. Shoot, when am I gonna meet a nice guy cuz I'm tired of running into jerks! Girls like jerks but WOMEN like nice guys. Then girls wonder why they get hurt after only going for the jerks! smh If a guy wants sex upfront, I get rid of him then and there, but I appreciate his honesty and appreciate him for not wasting my time!

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  6. hmm i dont want someone i can walk all over. i want someone that will check me when i need to be check (not just to be a smart ass) and someone that gives me what i need. i rather someone that has a back bone...because if i can walk all over you, who else will you let play you?

    as for jerks, umm those get dismissed quickly. a jerk to me is a person that has nothing better to do then to just be mean and negative. i dont have time for those people in my life, i have too much shit going on for that stress. "Jerks" are very unhappy within themseleves and they wouldnt be able to make me happy.

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  7. Things aren’t exactly as they appear. Nice guys, completely understandably, often have a slightly skewed perspective thanks to years of being ignored. They see the men who are successful with women as their enemies. If they’ve been out of a relationship for some time, they can sometimes become out of touch with the way women think – women become mysterious and unreadable to them. So to try and make sense of things, nice guys make assumptions – those guys are jerks and they get dates, so women must prefer jerks.

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  8. What about the way these ‘jerks’ treat women? While it’s certainly true that some men do treat their partners badly, this trait tends to be magnified out of all proportion when seen through the eyes of a nice guy. Two things tend to happen.

    Firstly, nice guys observe a few genuinely abusive men who are successful with women and assume that all men they see getting lots of dates must have the same trait.

    Secondly, nice guys sometimes misinterpret things. When a female friend complains of something her new ‘idiot boyfriend’ did, the nice guy forgets he’s only hearing one side of the story and loses sight of the fact that, in all relationships, some arguing is normal. The nice guy thinks I’d never treat her like that! In truth, what he’s seeing is probably a normal, healthy relationship.

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